Insecurity

Insecurity.

Yes, I was someone that used to struggle with insecurity.
I seek for acceptance, and wanting approval.

Insecurity has crippled me to moved on, having a good and healthy relationship with people. Most of the time I ended up hurting people that are dear to me or I will end up feeling drained trying to please them, as a result I wasn't happy and life for me was tough and SAD. I was struggling inside although I manage to put up a "happy" mask most of the time.

I remembered when I was really desperate, I want to changed! I want to be able to dream and LIVE. Crying out to God, I do feel God is so far... I wonder if he ever will reach out or does he even hear my cry? Oh  well, that was silly I know. The truth is this... God knows even before I talked to him. He knows my struggles and OF COURSE he hears me.

The amazing thing about God sees beyond my flaws and He help me to stand up. He assures me countless time. And the best part is He accept me! and He loves me.

God's love is simply amazing! He puts conviction in my heart... that I finally decided to speak one of the leaders in church. I feel that I was the breakthrough.

This is the thing about insecurity / rejection etc... I need to constantly guard my mind and my heart. but repenting and speaking to leaders really feels like the big rock that I carried for years have been lifted up. He helps me to see that I am accepted and I do not need to please everybody. I do not need to be "good enough" to be accepted. 

God says, He knows me even I am still in my mother's womb. He has a plan for me.

He helps me and walk with me during those time that I felt insecure... He sees me through.
That is the God that I serve.