The message that pastor preached during DIVE in, still vivid in my mind... "come and taste the goodness of God"
Throughout my years of being a Child of God, indeed God has been faithful to be. Being raise in a family that no one told me that they love me. No one shows that they care. No one tells me that yes, i can trust them... i can trust their words.
i grow up without knowing the father's love. For many years i strugle to tell people that i do not have a father, he passed away when i was still in my mother's womb. Everytime my friends asked about my dad, i will look to the ground and tell the very softly, "i do not have one". I haave to admit that i miss my dad alot. sometimes i just wish that my dad will just appear to me, but i know that will never happened bcuz he is gone forever. Deep down in my heart, i was crying out for my father... no one knows how much i miss him no one knows my cry... like many people, i cover up my sadness with a smile.
things started to changed in 1999, that's where God found me. He introduce himself as Father. In my vision, i saw Him strecthing out His arm, and said, "Come to me, now I am your Father." I responded to his call. Since that day, He has never let me go. Since that day, he gave me joy. My smile laughter, no longer to cover the true me inside. (That's y today i really laugh alot hahhaha)
The story of the prodigal sons is super real to me. As years passed by, and i began to step into working world, i have to admit that there are times i choose to walk my own way without holding his hands. Things out there attracted my attention. I was like the prodigal sons, leaving the father's house. Doing my own things and want things to be done my way. But then those days that i m not in my father's house i felt lost, i felt empty. Therefore, just like the prodigal son, i decided to go back to my father. That time i wasn't sure if God will still called me His daughter, but i just want to go back to him. One day, i repented... in my own lil space, i bow before Him, and u know what... He came to me just like the last time when i saw him in my vision, He stretch out his arm, and welcome me.
Ever since then, i just cant afford to live a day without Him. I m thankful that when i walked away, he still remain faithful. I experience his faithfulness...
He is truly Johevah Jireh, my provider. I quit my job early this year... and after i quit, i work for my uncle, while i look for a new job. But a month passed, i couldn't get any job... then 2nd month passed, still no job... thn God said to me, "wait and be patient, i will give u n open door when the time comes." I was thinking... ok i will wait. but then time passes really fast and i still couldnt get any jobs. Mum started to pressure me... uncle business not doing well, and he stop paying me the amount of money that he suppose to pay. aha, that's where i started to worried abit. I was like oh GoD, i really need a job!!! agian still no open doors, till early september, i went for n interview in Maxis, in my mind... i tot that's it.. this is the open door God promise. but then guess wat, is not... so, come to 3rd week of september, no calls for interview!!! the red like is really coming out, ohhh oh, cash running low... but still got bills to pay... thn pc came to me and ask if i wanted to work in Campus friends for a month... so without much thinking i just agreed to help her...
Thn oct, i started work for her, of cuz i still continue praying for a job, cuz working for pc just for a month i tot to myself die die oso got to get a job in the month of Nov. But then 2nd surprise came... pc asked if i want to work for the church, just try out untill end of the year... this time, i was like wow God, u so amazing... Y do i said so?? cuz early this year, when i was thinking abt quiting my job, of cuz i prayed and ask God wat he thinks about it?? God says ok, i can quit and deep down in my spirit i know He called me to work in church but then i dun wan... so like Jonah, i ran away... i told Him i wanted to try out working in big companies. obviously that din happen la cuz that's not where He wants me to go.
so, when me asked... i gave her a big smile and i nod... ok i will work in church... at least till end of this year. after that i will just go where He wants me to go.
I laughed when pc ask me about working in church, bcuz i tot to myself, how stupid i was.. to run away from where God has called me to be... and at the end of the day, i still cant escape. i go one BIG round, waste of time, waste of energy... should have just obey!!! God remember wat he said... That's why i know i can owes rely on GOd, no one but God alone.
Come and Taste, that the Lord is GOOD!
You will never know how Good he is, untill you experience it....
